Gratitude Sundays: My Integrity

Today I am grateful for my integrity, and for a strange reason. I have never been much of a reality show fan, but I really got into Survivor Fiji. TV actually inspired me; whooda thunkit? For those who aren't up to speed:Yao-Man made a deal with Dreamz that he would give him the truck for the immunity in the final four. After a huge speech about how he has to be a man of his word and that's who he is and how he has to be an example for his son, Dreamz revoked his end of the bargain. Now Dreamz thinks he has a chance to win the million after what he did to Yao. NO WAY, NO HOW, NOT EVER! He has got stupidest man alive to think that it was going to work in his favor. At least he has the truck as his tacky trophy to proclaim his sell out.

Anyway, it made me think about what I stand for, what is important to me and what I would sacrifice protect my identity. Not from thieves who would take my credit cards or bank account numbers, but from the shiny distractions of things. MasterCard said it best; some things money can’t buy.

I have never had to decide between my integrity and a chance at a million dollars, but I have had something just as valuable to me on the line. That Alaska Airlines job would have been amazing travel and shipping benefits to wherever AA flies (which, from Barrow adds up to $2500 / trip, $600/ month in groceries and you just can’t put a price on reliable health, dental, chiropractic and hair care, not to mention the mental sanity of being in normal civilization and accommodating weather.

I passed the opportunity up for what I believe in, for who I am and what I stand for. Had I taken that job, I would have regretted it in short order. Not because working outside the home is bad, but because it isn’t right for me right now and I know it. So today, I am grateful for my integrity.

On a lighter note, even though Yao-Man played the best game and should have won it, I am glad that Earl beat out those other 2 slackers taking every jury vote for the million bucks!

Annual Police Memorial Service

Today we attended the North Slope Borough Police Department Annual Police Memorial Service. I was touched by the sense of duty to God, family, city, borough, state and country. The service was short and simple, and it was moving to see all the officers and their families gathered to honor those who have lost their lives or family members to the hazards of the job.

It made me realize just how dangerous it is for my hubby to be out there every day with people who are having their worst day. Many of the people he deals with are just irresponsible and inebriated, which makes them stupid and unpredictable, but not necessarily bad. However, there are a few people that have long records and have served hard time as convicted felons. Those are the ones that make me think twice about the last words I say when see him off to work.

I have learned that the families of first responders do experience a greater strain and stress from the ugly side of society. Ben does a pretty good job of blowing off most of the frustration before he gets home, but there are still cases and days that get dragged up when he is least expecting and it causes an uneasy tension. I just wish I knew how to handle it a little better.

The transition to being an officer’s wife was difficult, but not quite as difficult as the transition to living in the Alaska Bush. I think that I have found a way to cope a little better now that the temperatures are usually at or above 0. There is still snow out, and we just bought 2 used snow mobiles to help ease the tension of cabin fever and job stress.

I have been taking the snowmobile across the lagoon to Piuraagvik (translates to “place to play” but it is really a run down basketball court with 2 locker-rooms and a few broken pieces of workout equipment). It only costs $1 to stay as long as I would like, and it meets my needs for a Stair Master and Treadmill. We also take them out cruisin on the ocean… Yup, it is still frozen over. We got nearly a foot of new snow the last few days, but you can’t really tell because it is so dry and fluffy and just blows around.

Anyway, I digress. The facts that we are playing as hard as we are working and that we are working toward goals that meet our needs, are making the transitions a little more bearable. I am happy to have a sense of family through the police department, and feel comfort in the fact that people are looking out for us. The memorial service brought all of that to the front of my mind and made me realize that as tough as this place is, the people are tougher and they take care of each other.

It was good for me to experience this little bite of reality on the tundra, and I think it helped me warm up to the fact that we are going to be up here for a while. But I still hope that it is not too long.

Alaska Girls and Work

I've been seriously considering taking a full-time job with Alaska Airlines to keep my sanity in this tiny, frozen town. Ben is really supportive, but I have my concerns about selling out. I think that the money and flight benefits would be great, but I think it would come at the price of Kaia's development and quality family time.

I am glad that I have the opportunity to stay at home with my baby, and recognize that Ben works long hours to make that possible. The least I can do is manage the money in a way that provides the best standard of living for our circumstances. We agreed together that part of that includes taking care of some household chores so that we can have positive family time together when we finally do get time together.

I am certain that if I chose to take the job, we would be able to go to cool places if we ever got the same days off, and we would be able to save up for a house a lot sooner. But there would be a lot less time together over all, and Kaia would be raised by a stranger. As far as the chores go, the delegation of responsibilities would be different, but I just don’t know if there would be enough time for what is important.

Right now I can focus most of my energy on doing what is most important to me, I get to teach my baby, love her and squeeze her. I get to train for my race, and with all of that, I don’t mind taking an hour or two out of my day to organize and make our house a home.

This is just the way that Ben and I have worked it out, and so far, it is working pretty well. I think a big part of that is the fact that we found a way for both of our needs to be met. I am so glad that he is good enough to communicate and cooperate. I don’t think that we would make it if he took the stereotypical man route.

On a side note, here is a funny story about that stereotypical man mentality and the way that Alaska women respond:

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had assigned their wives duties. The first man married a Woman from California and told his wife that she was going to keep the house in order. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean and organized house.

The second man married a woman from Utah. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, and cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Alaska. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry done and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.