This topic has come up again and again in the past few weeks, and I am just wondering:
I have heard comments ranging from the ridiculous to the outrageous and many of them come from other mothers! Some of the things I have heard include:
- Good moms are chunky, frumpy and a little frazzled because they don't waste time or money on themselves for hair, nails, clothes or vacations.
- Hot moms are selfish, superficial and neglectful of their childrens needs because they do all of the above.
I just don't feel like you can judge the effectiveness of a mother based on how she looks. And you certainly can’t judge effectiveness based on the time and money a mother appears to spend on her self.
Why is it that a woman has to cease to exist as a woman and become a selfless martyr to be a good mom? What ever happened to balance and maintenance? I feel that when I take an hour or two for myself each day, I am better equipped and patient when handling the every day kid crises that arise. This time doesn’t have to take away from my kiddo. It can happen when she is sleeping, or while she is involved with other happy adventures that I don’t have to be 100% attentive for.
I just thought I would throw this out there and see if any of you feel this same way. Have you faced ridicule, judgment or rejection because you take care of yourself? Do you feel guilty if you do or want to? Tell me your story.
6 comments:
I have occasionally felt guilty after a girls night out or girls weekend,but that quickly goes away when I realize that I am a better mother and wife because of it. It iS nice sometimes to be Tori and not mom! I think in order to be a good mom you have to balance and take time just for you!
I'm with you, from one glamour girl to another. I'm tired of apologizing for finding the time to take care of myself.
I am a hot mom! But I am sooo insecure about my weight. My baby is a year old and I lost all of my pregnancy weight and am back in my size 7 jeans....
I should be proud, right? Nope! Other mothers make me feel uncomfortable about it and constantly comment on how fat they are. I think they are beautiful!!! I wish they did too.
I am in the want to camp. I want to take time for myself to get ready to look nice and feel good, but in the day to day of it all I end up putting everything else first or making excuses why I shouldn't spend the money to go buy some inbetween clothes that fit now so I don't have to wear maternity clothes or clothes that are too tight since I have a newborn. I think part of it is the fear of being judged. But I do know that everything goes better in my life when I put taking care of me closer to the top of the list. Maybe today is the day to go shopping!
I did go shopping yesterday. I had been carrying around a coupon for Lane Bryant in my purse for a while, and it was set to expire yesterday as well, so it was a good thing I went. I needed bottoms since I can fit in my tops, so I bought 3. It is amazing how much nicer it is to slip on clothes that fit!
About a year ago I was a year out from having my first baby and I was feeling like I lost myself, so I got myself the beauty boot camp as a birthday present for myself (with the help of my husband and family). It was not cheap, but I really needed something for me then, so I saved up and it was worrth it.
I was unsure who to go to for a makeover, but I had watched the show Starting Over for all of the seasons it was on and saw all of Andy's makeover's on the show. I liked them, so I trusted her and was willing to pay the travel expenses to have her come since I knew it was going to be challenging for me. She was great. Very easy to work with and helpful with the emotional part as well as the practical part.
She has a website called centsofstyle.org and that is how I requested the boot camp.
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